The Lord was, is and continues to be good! This has been exciting month in the Crocker home! The last two years have been an adventure in faith and in spiritual, mental, emotional, relational, and physical stamina.
The Lord was good when Toni’s dad chose an “elective” heart repair about two years ago so that he could better care for mom as she entered the middle stages of her Alzheimer’s. But the “normal” operation resulted in many weeks of being hospitalized and his real home coming a month after coming back to the ranch.
The Lord was good that fall when Toni discovered “the lump,” and when we heard those words “It is cancer, and it is aggressive.” He was good when we started 2008 with chemo treatments and doctor appointment followed by appointment, over and over again! The Lord was good when we discovered in 2009 that the herceptin treatments had to be stopped because it had caused significant loss of her heart function!
The Lord was good two weeks ago on the Friday before Mother’s Day when we heard the good news from her cardiologist that her heart was doing very well. God was so very good when we heard today from her oncologist that she is “good to go!” We all had a few weepy moments in the doctor’s office knowing that the treatment was successful with no needed visits until Toni has her “six month” check up.
So May has been a good month! David was “in his cave” that he likened to a “prison” when he cried to the Lord that he trusted and had found in his past to be “Oh! So good!” Psalm 142:7, Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.
With David we praise God and want to speak to those who have gather around us. Our Dear Lord has been good by walking with us! He has provided us with great medical care! He has called His children to pray; and they did! He asked them to surround and support us; and they did! He has been “Oh! So good!” He gave us a Shepherding Team at Cheyenne Berean that shepherded us and they were “Oh! So good!”
So forgive us if we take the time to be reminded that He has been “Oh! So good!” and if we take the time to say one more time to you that you have been “Oh! So good!”
Showing posts with label chemo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chemo. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Cancer Treatments are Over!
As of Monday, February 23, the cancer treatments are over! Since the start of 2008 Toni has had infusions every three weeks with the associated doctor visits etc. Yesterday the oncologist with Toni’s approval determined that she should not take the last four because of the heart issues that had developed. Usually, theses heart issues take care of themselves with sensible life style adjustments. What is left? A daily pill for another 4.5 years and the usual checkups, pretty minor stuff! Many have taken the same journey as Toni.
Some have journeyed this path with a few friends and some with many friends. We are thankful that we have not only done this with many good friends, but friends who prayed and walked the journey from beginning to end. Thanks for taking the journey with us!
Toni and I are most of all, thankful that we knew that the Lord Himself was watching over us and directing our paths. This is no small thing to us. To have Him watching! Psalm 121:5-8, “The Lord watches over you — the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
As well, the 23rd Psalm, has a renewed poignancy, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Dear Heavenly and Present Father, You wrote the promises, Your Holy Spirit reminded us of them and by faith we embraced them. Your Words are truth! Thank you for the unexpected blessings from an unexpected assignment along an unexpected path. In Jesus exceedingly precious Name! Amen!
Some have journeyed this path with a few friends and some with many friends. We are thankful that we have not only done this with many good friends, but friends who prayed and walked the journey from beginning to end. Thanks for taking the journey with us!
Toni and I are most of all, thankful that we knew that the Lord Himself was watching over us and directing our paths. This is no small thing to us. To have Him watching! Psalm 121:5-8, “The Lord watches over you — the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
As well, the 23rd Psalm, has a renewed poignancy, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Dear Heavenly and Present Father, You wrote the promises, Your Holy Spirit reminded us of them and by faith we embraced them. Your Words are truth! Thank you for the unexpected blessings from an unexpected assignment along an unexpected path. In Jesus exceedingly precious Name! Amen!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Chemo Done! Herceptin Continues!
Toni has completed her 8 chemo treatments!Yeah! Hurrah! Praise the Lord!!!
These last two have greatly reduced her energy, so we are extremely glad to be over this hurdle and really ready to move on to the herceptin infusions that reportedly have few side effects. Toni will have herception infusions every three weeks until next February. Her next one is this Friday.
We came home early from Breckenridge because some dental work, that had to be postposned during chemo, began to abscess. Our dentist and good friend got her in imediately and a pulled tooth has never felt so good to Toni!
I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Ps 121:1-3, NIV)
Friday, May 30, 2008
A Milestone Today
Toni has finished her chemo treatments. She will now have a series of 14 treatments, every three weeks, of a non-chemo drug that has few if any side effects. One side effect that can result however is that it can reduce heart function. This would be our prayer request for this series of treatments.
(Milestones are placed to reassure travelers that they are on the right path, how much distance has been traveled and how much more distance there is to go)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Just One More Chemo to Go!
Toni, so to speak, physically handled well the first set of four chemo treatments; we anticipated an even better response to the next set of four because the side effects were suppose to be “milder.”
HOWEVER, the next two became increasingly more difficult. Though she had a week or so after each treatment when she was filled with energy, we went from “we are riding out this storm pretty well” to this hurricane “is worse than we thought it was going to be.” She was losing some weight and had moved from no neuropathy towards stage three.
BUT, we are praising the Lord for His grace through your prayers! The doctor has adjusted her chemo and put her on another form of the drug and she has done much better … more like the first set of four treatments. God’s sufficient grace has, as always, granted sufficient courage and sufficient comfort!
HOWEVER, the next two became increasingly more difficult. Though she had a week or so after each treatment when she was filled with energy, we went from “we are riding out this storm pretty well” to this hurricane “is worse than we thought it was going to be.” She was losing some weight and had moved from no neuropathy towards stage three.
BUT, we are praising the Lord for His grace through your prayers! The doctor has adjusted her chemo and put her on another form of the drug and she has done much better … more like the first set of four treatments. God’s sufficient grace has, as always, granted sufficient courage and sufficient comfort!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Neuropathy
One of the side effects of this series of chemo treatments is neuropathy. This is a pain and numbness in various places that usually leaves after the treatments are finished. Toni's is currently locating itself more intensely in the fingers on her right hand. The result is little if any quilting because she can't feel the needle and the dropping of smaller things such as keys. This is a nuisance to say the least. I though some might find this helpful as a specific prayer item.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tough First Night
Expecting the side effects to be more manageable with the new set of chemo drugs, Toni has had her "toughest" first night after chemo. We thought of the Psalmist.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you! Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh. I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places; I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop. Ps 102:1-7, ESV
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you! Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh. I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places; I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop. Ps 102:1-7, ESV
Friday, March 28, 2008
5/8's Done!
The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds. Ps 33:13-15, ESV
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
God saw Toni as she went for her fifth treatment (of eight chemo infusions). He knew her apprehension of moving to a new set of chemo drugs and side effects. He saw her throughout the day as she was infused through the morning and throughout the afternoon until four. He saw her try to keep sleepy eyes open as the Benadryl she was given as part of the treatment took hold.
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
The Lord saw as her friend Nancy and daughters Rachel and Cristine sat with her through the treatment. He saw six grandchildren playing throughout the day enjoying life, because Nana continues to enjoy and celebrate life! He will see her tomorrow when she goes as usual for the 24 hour follow up shot.
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
We are anticipating experiencing a sabbatical this May-July. Part of this marvelous gift of time and provision will be a cruise from Montreal to Boston. God “foresaw,” but He will also “see” us as we enjoy this provision … this special time to “rest, reflect and renew.” Our Lord has seen the grace and generosity of the Cheyenne Berean community!
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
God saw Toni as she went for her fifth treatment (of eight chemo infusions). He knew her apprehension of moving to a new set of chemo drugs and side effects. He saw her throughout the day as she was infused through the morning and throughout the afternoon until four. He saw her try to keep sleepy eyes open as the Benadryl she was given as part of the treatment took hold.
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
The Lord saw as her friend Nancy and daughters Rachel and Cristine sat with her through the treatment. He saw six grandchildren playing throughout the day enjoying life, because Nana continues to enjoy and celebrate life! He will see her tomorrow when she goes as usual for the 24 hour follow up shot.
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
We are anticipating experiencing a sabbatical this May-July. Part of this marvelous gift of time and provision will be a cruise from Montreal to Boston. God “foresaw,” but He will also “see” us as we enjoy this provision … this special time to “rest, reflect and renew.” Our Lord has seen the grace and generosity of the Cheyenne Berean community!
It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Fourth Chemo
Infusion #4 is done!
Not quite as bad as #3, but not as “kind” as #1 and #2.
Two hours last Friday night the side effects, “the worst!”
Next four infusions are with different chemicals and are suppose to be “gentler.”
Toni, when she remembers, makes jokes about her “chemo-nesia” … the chemo causes some “humorous mental misfires” … words easily get transposed; for example “Pass the grapes” can become “Pass the drapes.”
Good friends have asked how we are doing and what we have learned. Having learned that “first impressions” are less creditable, there is contentment in being faithful now and “processing” later. But if the question is not about specific “lessons” but is more broadly about “what are you thinking” than that is easier. It is the sameness and differentness!
The boat is different, the lake is different and the storm is different but the voice that beacons us from the boat sounds the same, the eyes we look into are the same and the hand that lifts us as we sink is the same. The walk back to the boat is still just as humbling! (Matthew 14:28-33)
Not quite as bad as #3, but not as “kind” as #1 and #2.
Two hours last Friday night the side effects, “the worst!”
Next four infusions are with different chemicals and are suppose to be “gentler.”
Toni, when she remembers, makes jokes about her “chemo-nesia” … the chemo causes some “humorous mental misfires” … words easily get transposed; for example “Pass the grapes” can become “Pass the drapes.”
Good friends have asked how we are doing and what we have learned. Having learned that “first impressions” are less creditable, there is contentment in being faithful now and “processing” later. But if the question is not about specific “lessons” but is more broadly about “what are you thinking” than that is easier. It is the sameness and differentness!
The boat is different, the lake is different and the storm is different but the voice that beacons us from the boat sounds the same, the eyes we look into are the same and the hand that lifts us as we sink is the same. The walk back to the boat is still just as humbling! (Matthew 14:28-33)
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Third Chemo
Toni had her third chemo treatment Friday 15th and a week later she is just getting her legs under her. The side effects were different and in many ways tougher this round. Some insomnia, some nausea, some of those “mysterious” pangs, but primarily an extreme, knee wobbling, aching, fatigue! One result was that though we were up to 8 laps around the mall, (and actually had walked 15 laps one Saturday as a fund raiser for some friends going to Peru with SportReach Missions), we have struggled this week, to go one or two laps, when we did walked!
A few quotes:
Malachi, “I just love nana’s head with no hair!” (Grandson, age 4)
anny, “Nana put your hat (wig) back on!” (Grandson, age 2 ½)
Toni, “This infusion knocked me for a loop.” “I felt like a toxic waste dump all week!”
Psalmist, “Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.” Ps 116:7-9, ESV
Thanks for your prayers and practical assistance! They were deeply appreciated this past week!
A few quotes:
Malachi, “I just love nana’s head with no hair!” (Grandson, age 4)
anny, “Nana put your hat (wig) back on!” (Grandson, age 2 ½)
Toni, “This infusion knocked me for a loop.” “I felt like a toxic waste dump all week!”
Psalmist, “Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.” Ps 116:7-9, ESV
Thanks for your prayers and practical assistance! They were deeply appreciated this past week!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Second Chemo
Four Down and Twenty to Go!
The first four months are behind us with discovery, surgery, chemo and hair loss; only twenty more months to go! This morning I was thinking about the “Valley of Baca” and thought that we have found our experience to be similar to Israelites. As they travel through a barren land that claimed many victims we, like they, have found “pools of living water” that have allowed us to move “from strength to strength!” (As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion. Ps 84:6-7, ESV)
Toni managed her second chemo even better than the first. It is still a mental and physical adjustment from her previously fast paced preference. Before we discovered “it” Toni had started memorizing Colossians, a book I am preaching through. Chemo has slowed that down significantly, it just is not sticking. I quizzed her on the first word today to get her jump started. Actually I joked with Toni that with her lacking sleep, having a foggy brain and needing to be careful about what she eats … if she starts telling really sick jokes she will know exactly how I live my life! We are up to 6-8 “center laps” at the mall nearly every day.
The hair thing has been interesting. She went to the door without realizing her head was uncovered and took two well dressed young men in dark suits with white shirts and a handful of literature quite by surprise. Toni has even taken her temperature with and without a hair piece because of how cold she can quickly get with out that silver-blonde adorning that was hers previously. It has been fun to watch Toni introduce kids to her new do! Toni did a hat and wig show for our grandkids and also for some of our other little friends. Today our youngest grandson told Nana to put her hat back on, several times!
We heard this week how one of our special little friends put two and two together and got five! When she was told she was going with her mom to visit Toni she was pleasantly surprised. She had been a companion of a woman who would visit her aging mother until she “went away” and of course our young friend did not see her any more. Because she had also been praying at the same time for Toni who was sick and because she had not seen Toni for a while, she concluded that Toni had also "gone away." But being a good four year old theologian, and when told they were going to see Toni, she asked, "Has Toni come back to life?" Mom explained that Toni had been sick and needs to take medicine but that she had not "gone away." She then exclaimed, "Oh, good I enjoy her so much!"
The first four months are behind us with discovery, surgery, chemo and hair loss; only twenty more months to go! This morning I was thinking about the “Valley of Baca” and thought that we have found our experience to be similar to Israelites. As they travel through a barren land that claimed many victims we, like they, have found “pools of living water” that have allowed us to move “from strength to strength!” (As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion. Ps 84:6-7, ESV)
Toni managed her second chemo even better than the first. It is still a mental and physical adjustment from her previously fast paced preference. Before we discovered “it” Toni had started memorizing Colossians, a book I am preaching through. Chemo has slowed that down significantly, it just is not sticking. I quizzed her on the first word today to get her jump started. Actually I joked with Toni that with her lacking sleep, having a foggy brain and needing to be careful about what she eats … if she starts telling really sick jokes she will know exactly how I live my life! We are up to 6-8 “center laps” at the mall nearly every day.
The hair thing has been interesting. She went to the door without realizing her head was uncovered and took two well dressed young men in dark suits with white shirts and a handful of literature quite by surprise. Toni has even taken her temperature with and without a hair piece because of how cold she can quickly get with out that silver-blonde adorning that was hers previously. It has been fun to watch Toni introduce kids to her new do! Toni did a hat and wig show for our grandkids and also for some of our other little friends. Today our youngest grandson told Nana to put her hat back on, several times!
We heard this week how one of our special little friends put two and two together and got five! When she was told she was going with her mom to visit Toni she was pleasantly surprised. She had been a companion of a woman who would visit her aging mother until she “went away” and of course our young friend did not see her any more. Because she had also been praying at the same time for Toni who was sick and because she had not seen Toni for a while, she concluded that Toni had also "gone away." But being a good four year old theologian, and when told they were going to see Toni, she asked, "Has Toni come back to life?" Mom explained that Toni had been sick and needs to take medicine but that she had not "gone away." She then exclaimed, "Oh, good I enjoy her so much!"
Journey Update
Ten days into the chemo treatment Toni’s white cell count is holding strong … actually higher than when she started her chemo. Her oncologist was very pleased with how well she tolerated the side effects and her great white cell count. When I told the good news to someone, they mentioned that they and their children had been praying about it. They were elated! I was immediately reminded of the many who have told us that they are praying.
This is prosthesis week! This week the usual thing is to lose the hair. Yesterday, Toni and a friend went to a salon here in Cheyenne that provides free hair pieces. I wondered if this was a business move on their part or something else, but Toni came back with a wonderful story. The owner’s child was diagnosed with cancer and given 3 months to live, nineteen years later she is healthy and was actually in the salon at the time of Toni’s visit. This afternoon we drive to Colorado to get the second prosthesis that will provide symmetry.
Words are important, actually just a word is important. I visited with a friend last week who had walked/ran/sprinted with his child through cancer. After I came home from the time with him, I came into the house and said to Toni, “hope!” Now, we have hope and nuzzle up to Jesus often to smell the sweet fragrance of hope that flows from Him and through His Word, but it was wonderful to hear it from a believer who had learned to place his hope even more fully in the Sovereign Lord God, because of the his own family’s assignment with cancer. Hope in a Person and not a formula! Actually he said little by way of advice, he just said, “hope;” a hope that is anchored to the true Christ of the scriptures; hope that comes from the true God who saves and sanctifies and sustains. It is wonderful to chat with people about their ideas about how to prepare and maintain ourselves through this marathon, but it was special to visit with one who had run the race and won! Won, meaning became more like Christ!
I think we are both somewhat surprised at the emotional and physical energy depleted through the various aspects of Toni’s amazing, often still surreal, journey! The message paraphrase of 1 Peter 1:17 has been an encouragement, “You call out to God for help and he helps — he's a good Father that way… Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.”
This is prosthesis week! This week the usual thing is to lose the hair. Yesterday, Toni and a friend went to a salon here in Cheyenne that provides free hair pieces. I wondered if this was a business move on their part or something else, but Toni came back with a wonderful story. The owner’s child was diagnosed with cancer and given 3 months to live, nineteen years later she is healthy and was actually in the salon at the time of Toni’s visit. This afternoon we drive to Colorado to get the second prosthesis that will provide symmetry.
Words are important, actually just a word is important. I visited with a friend last week who had walked/ran/sprinted with his child through cancer. After I came home from the time with him, I came into the house and said to Toni, “hope!” Now, we have hope and nuzzle up to Jesus often to smell the sweet fragrance of hope that flows from Him and through His Word, but it was wonderful to hear it from a believer who had learned to place his hope even more fully in the Sovereign Lord God, because of the his own family’s assignment with cancer. Hope in a Person and not a formula! Actually he said little by way of advice, he just said, “hope;” a hope that is anchored to the true Christ of the scriptures; hope that comes from the true God who saves and sanctifies and sustains. It is wonderful to chat with people about their ideas about how to prepare and maintain ourselves through this marathon, but it was special to visit with one who had run the race and won! Won, meaning became more like Christ!
I think we are both somewhat surprised at the emotional and physical energy depleted through the various aspects of Toni’s amazing, often still surreal, journey! The message paraphrase of 1 Peter 1:17 has been an encouragement, “You call out to God for help and he helps — he's a good Father that way… Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.”
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
New Hair Style
Toni's new hair style ... about 3 inches came off!
1. Her head is now covered with short hair goats! But still very beautiful!
Song 6:5, Turn away your eyes from me, for they overwhelm me— A Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead. ESV
2. God's is the one who determines hair style!
Matt 5:36, And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. ESV
Originally written January 7, 2008.
First Chemo
Yesterday Toni had her first chemo treatment and is doing fine. Her side effects were “moderate” in that she is fatigued, has a background heartache, feels a “little bubbly” inside and didn’t get much sleep… sounds like a couple of the ladies retreats she use to lead. Toni would say she is doing “fine.”
Thank-you
So many emails, videos, flowers, fruit baskets, movies, cards, meals, books, visits, calls and very helpful words of encouragement and advice! Combined they are in the hundreds! With all that has been happening they have been such a great source of strength!
We are sorry to have to be so general about this thank-you … but many have said, “No thank-you needed”… so we are accepting that grace from you. My sister’s family sent us a “lobster bake” certificate. It has been postponed for a week or so, so when Toni is feeling like sea food sounds fun we will eat it thinking of each of you.
A Few Thoughts
Many are earnestly praying and eagerly wanting to hear how we are all doing … so a few thoughts. First some are wanting to know right off … are we under it or over it after the first chemo… well with Christ praying for us, as well as so many of our friends, Romans 8:37 seems to fit the bill, “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” We do live in mystery and are tired and exhausted at times, over whelmed with medical information at times, wonder about co-pays, etc. at times, and hurting deeply for what Toni’s assignment requires of her, often … but we feel “curiously strong” in this as we basically go from one appointment and event to another…handling one thing at a time.
We had a wonderful Christmas with all the kids and grandkids taking great care of Toni. Toni’s side of the family was coming to our house for Christmas day, but the weather (18” of snow in December) keep dropping snow with high winds, so we had our first “Crocker/Braddy” only Christmas. The grandkids were phenomenal as they played together so well and on occasion peaked-in on Nana. Our oldest and only granddaughter, Mika for the first few days after surgery just hovered around Nana. She would curl up in a chair by Toni to be Nana’s little servant. I could see a lot of Toni in Mika as she “mothered” her grandmother.
Thanks to Kearney Berean, where Paul is the Worship Pastor, for allowing us to have some extra time with Paul and Cristine. The weather also helped a little because it snowed and several times the return trips needed to be adjusted. A “Yeh!” for Cristine who finished her Masters from Liberty University in some people thing major. Rachel was given an extended leave of absence were she works at Kansas State, and was here for all of December! She has a year left on her masters in some religious thing major at Emmanuel House Seminary. Jonathan and Janelle live here in Cheyenne and they are always around to help Toni as needed. Jon will finish from the University in Wyoming with his Bachelor in Business stuff. Hey, I would use more precise words but they have educated themselves beyond my vocabulary.
As you would assume we have both shed tears as we have released and accepted this assignment. We have had a few extra tender hugs. As an aside, some having forgotten her surgeries have created their own memorable hugging moments with Toni. Toni claims she has had a “melt down” or two. But when I think of the bizarre “melt downs’ by the so called celebrates of this world or those who I have witnessed because of the “burnt toast” issues of life … her tears are the sweet tears of a godly, trusting, child of God who has things to say that just can’t be said with just words. Her girl friends have really risen to the occasion. (Thanks!) We have, and will grieve off and on, but we grieve in true hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13) and with great friends. We can’t think of a better place than Cheyenne Berean to take this amazing journey!
The path has it amusing times like going to the pharmacy to get a prescription for 8 pills but the insurance will only allow us to receive 6 at a time! Or when Toni has spend a hour with a wonderful consultant for “the” prosthesis, only to find out that they don’t work with our insurance carrier. So drive down to talk with our providers at their headquarters we learn that we have to travel down to Fort Collins, CO to have that prescription filled… then there is the story of the cranial prosthesis.
This has been a good time for us as a couple. We have mentioned to each other how glad that we are not going through this with a weak love-bridge. We have not had to try to reconnect because of the cancer or make repairs to the bridge while we are fighting the cancer but can enjoy the unity we have become over 33 years, even with the cancer!
Time Away
Last year, before we found out about Toni’s cancer, Toni and I made contact with her favorite mentor/professor while she was in college. It was a great time of remembrance, but a special person was missing … his wife. Ironically she was called to the Lord after a similar surgery that had called Toni’s dad home this past August.
Dr. G pulled me aside, as we were parting, and spoke to me about all the plans he and his wife had made for when life and ministry slowed down. And with tears, he encouraged me to take that “special trip” that every couple talks about doing but to do it sooner rather than later. We took what Dr. G said seriously and as from the Lord …. then came the news about Toni’s cancer!
Toni and I have been talking about a renewal sabbatical for several years and this last year we began approaching the elders at Cheyenne Berean about it. We had been thinking about the dates of May 1- July 24, 2008 and are inclined to stick with these dates, God willing. We have so desired, by God’s grace and mercy, to set aside quantity and quality of time to focus on our pastoral ministry and our inner beings in the spirit of Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:16, “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Our previous thoughts had been to find a place back in Maine, but with the treatments every three weeks we are adjusting to a “Rocky Mountain High” with maybe the possibility of a ten day or so retreat to Maine. At any rate the Lord is in full control of schedules, dates, days, times, health, and finances.
We love and appreciate you concerns and prayers!
Richard and Toni
Colossians 4:12
Thank-you
So many emails, videos, flowers, fruit baskets, movies, cards, meals, books, visits, calls and very helpful words of encouragement and advice! Combined they are in the hundreds! With all that has been happening they have been such a great source of strength!
We are sorry to have to be so general about this thank-you … but many have said, “No thank-you needed”… so we are accepting that grace from you. My sister’s family sent us a “lobster bake” certificate. It has been postponed for a week or so, so when Toni is feeling like sea food sounds fun we will eat it thinking of each of you.
A Few Thoughts
Many are earnestly praying and eagerly wanting to hear how we are all doing … so a few thoughts. First some are wanting to know right off … are we under it or over it after the first chemo… well with Christ praying for us, as well as so many of our friends, Romans 8:37 seems to fit the bill, “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” We do live in mystery and are tired and exhausted at times, over whelmed with medical information at times, wonder about co-pays, etc. at times, and hurting deeply for what Toni’s assignment requires of her, often … but we feel “curiously strong” in this as we basically go from one appointment and event to another…handling one thing at a time.
We had a wonderful Christmas with all the kids and grandkids taking great care of Toni. Toni’s side of the family was coming to our house for Christmas day, but the weather (18” of snow in December) keep dropping snow with high winds, so we had our first “Crocker/Braddy” only Christmas. The grandkids were phenomenal as they played together so well and on occasion peaked-in on Nana. Our oldest and only granddaughter, Mika for the first few days after surgery just hovered around Nana. She would curl up in a chair by Toni to be Nana’s little servant. I could see a lot of Toni in Mika as she “mothered” her grandmother.
Thanks to Kearney Berean, where Paul is the Worship Pastor, for allowing us to have some extra time with Paul and Cristine. The weather also helped a little because it snowed and several times the return trips needed to be adjusted. A “Yeh!” for Cristine who finished her Masters from Liberty University in some people thing major. Rachel was given an extended leave of absence were she works at Kansas State, and was here for all of December! She has a year left on her masters in some religious thing major at Emmanuel House Seminary. Jonathan and Janelle live here in Cheyenne and they are always around to help Toni as needed. Jon will finish from the University in Wyoming with his Bachelor in Business stuff. Hey, I would use more precise words but they have educated themselves beyond my vocabulary.
As you would assume we have both shed tears as we have released and accepted this assignment. We have had a few extra tender hugs. As an aside, some having forgotten her surgeries have created their own memorable hugging moments with Toni. Toni claims she has had a “melt down” or two. But when I think of the bizarre “melt downs’ by the so called celebrates of this world or those who I have witnessed because of the “burnt toast” issues of life … her tears are the sweet tears of a godly, trusting, child of God who has things to say that just can’t be said with just words. Her girl friends have really risen to the occasion. (Thanks!) We have, and will grieve off and on, but we grieve in true hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13) and with great friends. We can’t think of a better place than Cheyenne Berean to take this amazing journey!
The path has it amusing times like going to the pharmacy to get a prescription for 8 pills but the insurance will only allow us to receive 6 at a time! Or when Toni has spend a hour with a wonderful consultant for “the” prosthesis, only to find out that they don’t work with our insurance carrier. So drive down to talk with our providers at their headquarters we learn that we have to travel down to Fort Collins, CO to have that prescription filled… then there is the story of the cranial prosthesis.
This has been a good time for us as a couple. We have mentioned to each other how glad that we are not going through this with a weak love-bridge. We have not had to try to reconnect because of the cancer or make repairs to the bridge while we are fighting the cancer but can enjoy the unity we have become over 33 years, even with the cancer!
Time Away
Last year, before we found out about Toni’s cancer, Toni and I made contact with her favorite mentor/professor while she was in college. It was a great time of remembrance, but a special person was missing … his wife. Ironically she was called to the Lord after a similar surgery that had called Toni’s dad home this past August.
Dr. G pulled me aside, as we were parting, and spoke to me about all the plans he and his wife had made for when life and ministry slowed down. And with tears, he encouraged me to take that “special trip” that every couple talks about doing but to do it sooner rather than later. We took what Dr. G said seriously and as from the Lord …. then came the news about Toni’s cancer!
Toni and I have been talking about a renewal sabbatical for several years and this last year we began approaching the elders at Cheyenne Berean about it. We had been thinking about the dates of May 1- July 24, 2008 and are inclined to stick with these dates, God willing. We have so desired, by God’s grace and mercy, to set aside quantity and quality of time to focus on our pastoral ministry and our inner beings in the spirit of Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:16, “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Our previous thoughts had been to find a place back in Maine, but with the treatments every three weeks we are adjusting to a “Rocky Mountain High” with maybe the possibility of a ten day or so retreat to Maine. At any rate the Lord is in full control of schedules, dates, days, times, health, and finances.
We love and appreciate you concerns and prayers!
Richard and Toni
Colossians 4:12
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