Yesterday Toni had her first chemo treatment and is doing fine. Her side effects were “moderate” in that she is fatigued, has a background heartache, feels a “little bubbly” inside and didn’t get much sleep… sounds like a couple of the ladies retreats she use to lead. Toni would say she is doing “fine.”
Thank-youSo many emails, videos, flowers, fruit baskets, movies, cards, meals, books, visits, calls and very helpful words of encouragement and advice! Combined they are in the hundreds! With all that has been happening they have been such a great source of strength!
We are sorry to have to be so general about this thank-you … but many have said, “No thank-you needed”… so we are accepting that grace from you. My sister’s family sent us a “lobster bake” certificate. It has been postponed for a week or so, so when Toni is feeling like sea food sounds fun we will eat it thinking of each of you.
A Few ThoughtsMany are earnestly praying and eagerly wanting to hear how we are all doing … so a few thoughts. First some are wanting to know right off … are we under it or over it after the first chemo… well with Christ praying for us, as well as so many of our friends, Romans 8:37 seems to fit the bill, “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” We do live in mystery and are tired and exhausted at times, over whelmed with medical information at times, wonder about co-pays, etc. at times, and hurting deeply for what Toni’s assignment requires of her, often … but we feel “curiously strong” in this as we basically go from one appointment and event to another…handling one thing at a time.
We had a wonderful Christmas with all the kids and grandkids taking great care of Toni. Toni’s side of the family was coming to our house for Christmas day, but the weather (18” of snow in December) keep dropping snow with high winds, so we had our first “Crocker/Braddy” only Christmas. The grandkids were phenomenal as they played together so well and on occasion peaked-in on Nana. Our oldest and only granddaughter, Mika for the first few days after surgery just hovered around Nana. She would curl up in a chair by Toni to be Nana’s little servant. I could see a lot of Toni in Mika as she “mothered” her grandmother.
Thanks to Kearney Berean, where Paul is the Worship Pastor, for allowing us to have some extra time with Paul and Cristine. The weather also helped a little because it snowed and several times the return trips needed to be adjusted. A “Yeh!” for Cristine who finished her Masters from Liberty University in some people thing major. Rachel was given an extended leave of absence were she works at Kansas State, and was here for all of December! She has a year left on her masters in some religious thing major at Emmanuel House Seminary. Jonathan and Janelle live here in Cheyenne and they are always around to help Toni as needed. Jon will finish from the University in Wyoming with his Bachelor in Business stuff. Hey, I would use more precise words but they have educated themselves beyond my vocabulary.
As you would assume we have both shed tears as we have released and accepted this assignment. We have had a few extra tender hugs. As an aside, some having forgotten her surgeries have created their own memorable hugging moments with Toni. Toni claims she has had a “melt down” or two. But when I think of the bizarre “melt downs’ by the so called celebrates of this world or those who I have witnessed because of the “burnt toast” issues of life … her tears are the sweet tears of a godly, trusting, child of God who has things to say that just can’t be said with just words. Her girl friends have really risen to the occasion. (Thanks!) We have, and will grieve off and on, but we grieve in true hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13) and with great friends. We can’t think of a better place than Cheyenne Berean to take this amazing journey!
The path has it amusing times like going to the pharmacy to get a prescription for 8 pills but the insurance will only allow us to receive 6 at a time! Or when Toni has spend a hour with a wonderful consultant for “the” prosthesis, only to find out that they don’t work with our insurance carrier. So drive down to talk with our providers at their headquarters we learn that we have to travel down to Fort Collins, CO to have that prescription filled… then there is the story of the cranial prosthesis.
This has been a good time for us as a couple. We have mentioned to each other how glad that we are not going through this with a weak love-bridge. We have not had to try to reconnect because of the cancer or make repairs to the bridge while we are fighting the cancer but can enjoy the unity we have become over 33 years, even with the cancer!
Time AwayLast year, before we found out about Toni’s cancer, Toni and I made contact with her favorite mentor/professor while she was in college. It was a great time of remembrance, but a special person was missing … his wife. Ironically she was called to the Lord after a similar surgery that had called Toni’s dad home this past August.
Dr. G pulled me aside, as we were parting, and spoke to me about all the plans he and his wife had made for when life and ministry slowed down. And with tears, he encouraged me to take that “special trip” that every couple talks about doing but to do it sooner rather than later. We took what Dr. G said seriously and as from the Lord …. then came the news about Toni’s cancer!
Toni and I have been talking about a renewal sabbatical for several years and this last year we began approaching the elders at Cheyenne Berean about it. We had been thinking about the dates of May 1- July 24, 2008 and are inclined to stick with these dates, God willing. We have so desired, by God’s grace and mercy, to set aside quantity and quality of time to focus on our pastoral ministry and our inner beings in the spirit of Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:16, “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Our previous thoughts had been to find a place back in Maine, but with the treatments every three weeks we are adjusting to a “Rocky Mountain High” with maybe the possibility of a ten day or so retreat to Maine. At any rate the Lord is in full control of schedules, dates, days, times, health, and finances.
We love and appreciate you concerns and prayers!
Richard and Toni
Colossians 4:12
I am looking forward to being home on Friday. During the trip I have been listening to poems by Amy Carmichael (1867-1951) who served in India for fifty-five years. (Toni got them for our sabbatical.)
