Welcome to Crocker Pages! Join us as we venture through life's journey. Here you will find our descriptions of and reactions to the assignments of life -- from the mundane to the significant.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Back Walking



A rough weekend ... but back to walking a few slow laps

Sunday, March 30, 2008

We Love our Church Family

We love Cheyenne Berean! We are so thankful for the abundance of support! People from our church family clean the house, prepare meals, carry extra ministry loads, call, write, etc and they pray. Here is one such recent ePrayer! What away to start a Lord's Day!

“I know that with his help you will be up to the work and exertion of healing.

I've prayed for endurance, determination and strength to match the demands that winning this battle places upon you and Richard and the rest of us that care for you. My thoughts are on a woman that grabbed his hem so fiercely that the grace received was a real show stopper. She must have been determined! What do you think went through his mind when he turned to find her? No matter our view of the encounter, we can appreciate how much she wanted to be well.

There are grandchildren present and am sure that there are grandchildren yet to come that will be blessed by your willingness to keep reaching for the days ahead during these days present when effort is so total and you've spent so much to be well for them.

Thank God that there are treatments he has enabled to help you and protect your future. With each treatment I remind myself that you are that much closer to completing the course of healing by meeting the demands of a tough, but defeatable opponent. It makes your suffering easier to accept, knowing what you are leaving behind. The days yet to come, distilled through this process must surely be more precious, more sweet, more fully lived.

Know that you are loved and valued. We are fighting with you. There are so many of us, someone is always fighting with you. You are never far out of thought, out of our hearts, out of our prayers.”

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Tough First Night

Expecting the side effects to be more manageable with the new set of chemo drugs, Toni has had her "toughest" first night after chemo. We thought of the Psalmist.

Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you! Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh. I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places; I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop. Ps 102:1-7, ESV

Friday, March 28, 2008

5/8's Done!

The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds. Ps 33:13-15, ESV

It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!

God saw Toni as she went for her fifth treatment (of eight chemo infusions). He knew her apprehension of moving to a new set of chemo drugs and side effects. He saw her throughout the day as she was infused through the morning and throughout the afternoon until four. He saw her try to keep sleepy eyes open as the Benadryl she was given as part of the treatment took hold.

It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!

The Lord saw as her friend Nancy and daughters Rachel and Cristine sat with her through the treatment. He saw six grandchildren playing throughout the day enjoying life, because Nana continues to enjoy and celebrate life! He will see her tomorrow when she goes as usual for the 24 hour follow up shot.


It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!

We are anticipating experiencing a sabbatical this May-July. Part of this marvelous gift of time and provision will be a cruise from Montreal to Boston. God “foresaw,” but He will also “see” us as we enjoy this provision … this special time to “rest, reflect and renew.” Our Lord has seen the grace and generosity of the Cheyenne Berean community!

It is a joy to have God speak such words to our hearts!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Our Littler Friends are Praying


We got this recently and wanted to share it with you! We have received many over the months to gladden our hearts! Proverbs 12:25, “Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” ESV

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Fourth Chemo

Infusion #4 is done!

Not quite as bad as #3, but not as “kind” as #1 and #2.

Two hours last Friday night the side effects, “the worst!”

Next four infusions are with different chemicals and are suppose to be “gentler.”

Toni, when she remembers, makes jokes about her “chemo-nesia” … the chemo causes some “humorous mental misfires” … words easily get transposed; for example “Pass the grapes” can become “Pass the drapes.”

Good friends have asked how we are doing and what we have learned. Having learned that “first impressions” are less creditable, there is contentment in being faithful now and “processing” later. But if the question is not about specific “lessons” but is more broadly about “what are you thinking” than that is easier. It is the sameness and differentness!

The boat is different, the lake is different and the storm is different but the voice that beacons us from the boat sounds the same, the eyes we look into are the same and the hand that lifts us as we sink is the same. The walk back to the boat is still just as humbling! (Matthew 14:28-33)